Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
