i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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