Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
