I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize