im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
