I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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