Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
