if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
so let's talk penis.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
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you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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