I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
