I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
