it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
