i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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