Kiss
Puke
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
