Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
try to milk me bitch
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