Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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