i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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