I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
