So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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