yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
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Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
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The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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