Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
