So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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