I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
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i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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