Umm I'm too high to move.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize