Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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