How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
