He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
