i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
