Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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