i wish there were pregnant emoticons
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
