Umm I'm too high to move.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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