Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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