You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
