Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize