It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Ladies don't puke and tell
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
