I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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