my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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