Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We left the knife in your bed.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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