Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
