she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
