Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
