she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
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Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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