office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
