I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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