I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
