You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
