what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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