i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
