Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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