I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
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you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You took a bar mat shot.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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