I want to have your abortion
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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