you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
