I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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