i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
