just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday