I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.