Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?