In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
