How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
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You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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