i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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