He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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