just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
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I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize