Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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