She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
