If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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