You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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